a blog without purpose

burlesque beauties


I’m not real big on holidays. The one exception is Halloween. It’s just about the best thing ever.

A holiday where you get to dress up as anything you want.

You go out and watch drunk slutty chicks channel their inner Naughty (Insert any noun here), while being hit on by guys dressed as (whatever costume will most effectively drop panties).

This is People Watching GOLD my friends!!

I love seeing all of the costumes. The good, the bad and the ridiculous.

I willingly admit to being a slutty costume  aficionado, they are my favorites.

This will be my first Halloween in a place that actually gets cold.

For this reason, when the Bear and I went to a costume party at a local bar this weekend, I opted for warmth over slut (modern day Function over form). Funny how marriage changes a lady…

If we were hip (we aren’t). we would have gone clubbing in San Francisco. Nonetheless, paying a $50 cover charge per person sure as HELL wasn’t going to happen.

Instead, we found a bar that was advertising a costume contest, a Prince cover band, and a burlesque show. We checked that is wasn’t located in an area of Oakland that was likely to get us shot at. And we headed over dressed in our finest (& warmest) pirate garb. (nerd level expert : achievement unlocked)

I had never before seen a burlesque show; but I always heard really interesting and awesome things about them. So I was more than a little excited to go.


I have been more than a few strip clubs in my life. I think they are hysterical and usually a lot of fun. I spend most of the time considering how athletic and bendy the dancers are.  I also enjoy watching how stupid male patrons act in the presence of several sets of nipples. They turn into drunk toddlers.

In my experience, Strippers tend to fall into two loose categories (yeah I went there).

There are the chicks who work at it and treat it like the job that it is. They are usually pretty hot, have an awesome complicated erotic dance routine and take very good care of themselves.

The other group are usually the girls that dance because they have to make money fast for any number of terribly depressing reasons. They usually aren’t in shape and their routine is more  of an interpretive gyration of tragedy.

I was under the impression that Burlesque was just a watered down version of stripping with better music.

Burlesque shouldn’t even be mentioned on the same page as strip clubs. So far superior is the quality of entertainment. Yes, they do take most of their clothes off while dancing to music. But, That is where the similarities end.

These performers managed to take the act of undressing ( something that often provokes feelings of negative body image in women) and turn it into a moment of empowerment and self love.

These are not women who are paid to dance naked for tips. These were women with normal soft bodies. They carried extra weight, they had rolls and cellulite. And. they. were. GORGEOUS!

The confidence and sex appeal they exuded was palpable. They didn’t just dance and swing their boobie tassels. They had well thought out, incredibly humorous dance numbers that also happened to be sexy as hell.

After watching these ladies shake their things, I left feeling like they reached out and sparked the inner sex kitten in every female in the crowd.

Can you even grasp how huge that is? Women showing other women that they can be sexy and love their bodies. That they should embrace their love handles and jiggly bits.

Burlesque dancers show the world that you don’t have to be a size 2 to feel sexy.

It was an amazing show and one of the best Halloween parties I have ever attended.

As you might expect, the guys were still drunk toddlers. After all, those tassels were attached to nipples… and fleshy mammary glands seem to make men happy and just a little stupid.

1 thought on “burlesque beauties”

  • I couldn’t agree more!! From the other side of the stage I would say you hit just right!! One of my favorite things to do was watch those over sized boys act like silly little boys when you dropped the top!!!! Love you keep up the great writing it makes my day!!! Mama Bella

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