hmm last time I wrote anything in this blog I was in an RV with my husband and two dogs. Good news we made it home alive and I succumbed to my usual bout of distractions and apathy towards this blog. Since that time, I […]
Today the Bear is offering a guest blog! Hear him Rawr.
Today while catching up on the news I came across an article entitled “Elisabeth Hasselbeck Really Asked This About Feminism.” Knowing her usual penchant for spouting amusingly ignorant comments I clicked on the article. I found not the quick laugh I expected, but instead I found myself becoming increasingly infuriated by what I read. For those who didn’t click the above link, allow me to share the gist of it. Elisabeth’s guest bemoans the fact that due to feminism men have become less manly and the few manly men left are demonized. Elisabeth asks if this lack of manliness is a threat to national security (Because hell, its Fox News, everything can and is a threat to national security if it differs from their core ideology.) He replies that it “absolutely” is a threat because, “wimps and wussies deliver mediocrity, and men win. And what America’s always been about is winning.”
Shit like this infuriates me.
I fail to see how respecting women and treating them as equals somehow makes you less “manly.” The goal of feminism is not to somehow turn men into women, if anything its goal is to turn assholes into real men. Real men don’t see the world as a zero sum game where any advancements women achieve must inherently come at a cost to them. They sure as fuck don’t think that a woman’s place is back in the kitchen or that a woman is ever “asking for it”… but that’s a whole other conversation and not what I wanted to dwell on at this time.
What prompted this blog was my disgust with this falsehood that men are only truly men if they are hyper aggressive and full of machismo. That if you are not out shooting guns, getting in fights and bedding as many women as possible you are somehow less than a true man. Not one of those things or the hundreds of other stereotypically “manly” activities that are often put forward as tests of machoness has anything to do with what makes someone a man. A man is someone who loves and supports their partner. A man is someone who supports and raises their children. A man is someone who gives people the respect they deserve and thus is respected in turn. A man never needs to prove how much of a man he is. A man does not confuse bravery with bravado or empathy with weakness. A man’s looks, hobbies, physique or sexual orientation is not what makes him a man; that rests in his heart and in his soul.
I am a man not because I am a 6’2″, barrel chested and have a beard. Not because I drive a truck, can change a tire, and am handy with tools. I am a man because have a wife who I love and respect and who in turn loves me with a fierce protectiveness that burns in her eyes whenever we are together. I am a man because I have a father who moved heaven and earth to be there for his children and who taught me to respect women through the love and respect he gave my mother. I am a man because my mother is the strongest, kindest person I know and she taught me how to love myself for who I am and how to love others.
In closing I’ll leave you with this link which does a much better job than I ever could to explain how our society has systematically fucked up generations of young men with the hope that things can change. http://www.upworthy.com/theres-something-absolutely-wrong-with-what-we-do-to-boys-before-they-grow-into-men
Da Bear. Rawr.